Citation : Singh AR (2024). Non – healing Self – inflicted Wound. In :Ghalib, Psychology and Human Behaviour - 2 (A.R Singh and S.A Singh Eds), Mens Sana Monogr; 22:1. pg 38-39
دوست غم خواری میں میری سعی فرماویں گے کیا
زخم کے بھرتے تلک ناخن نہ بڑھ جاویں گے کیا
दोस्त ग़म-ख़्वारी में मेरी सई फ़रमावेंगे क्या
ज़ख़्म के भरते तलक नाख़ुन न बढ़ जावेंगे क्या
dost Gam-KHvaarii me.n merii sa.ii farmaave.nge kyaa
zaKHm ke bharte talak naaKHun na ba.Dh jaave.nge kyaa
(DG 20,1:116)
Meaning
Will my friends bestow correct help as they console me in my sorrow?
Will not the nails grow back as the wound starts to heal?
Explanation/Comment:
In my sorrowful state because of my wounds (of love, or otherwise), my friends come to console me. And seeing that I scratch my wounds, they cut my nails so the wound may heal.
But the problem is, won’t my nails grow once again? And that too before the wound can heal? So that I scratch them once again and reopen the wound?
In other words, friends, with all their best intentions, can help only upto a limit. If the wound is self inflicted, only the seit can remedy it. All external help is temporary and futile.
All these who carry out repetitive self injurious behaviour need to change themselves to remedy their state. This the person, and care-givers, must realise as soon as possible.
Unrequited love is only one such wound. So are alcoholism, substance abuse, accident-pronomess, personality disorders etc.
It’s only when the person trims her/his own ‘nails’ and stops repetitive self destructive behaviour that the ‘wound’ really starts to heal. Otherwise it’s just temporary ‘trimming’ of nails by well-wishers and care givers.
The essential point is how to lead such a self injurious person to such a realisation. And help heal the ‘wound’ as she/he masters coping mechanisms to stop self-hurt.
Citation : Singh AR (2024). Non – healing Self – inflicted Wound. In :Ghalib, Psychology and Human Behaviour - 2 (A.R Singh and S.A Singh Eds), Mens Sana Monogr; 22:1. pg 38-39
دوست غم خواری میں میری سعی فرماویں گے کیا
زخم کے بھرتے تلک ناخن نہ بڑھ جاویں گے کیا
दोस्त ग़म-ख़्वारी में मेरी सई फ़रमावेंगे क्या
ज़ख़्म के भरते तलक नाख़ुन न बढ़ जावेंगे क्या
dost Gam-KHvaarii me.n merii sa.ii farmaave.nge kyaa
zaKHm ke bharte talak naaKHun na ba.Dh jaave.nge kyaa
(DG 20,1:116)
Meaning
Will my friends bestow correct help as they console me in my sorrow?
Will not the nails grow back as the wound starts to heal?
Explanation/Comment:
In my sorrowful state because of my wounds (of love, or otherwise), my friends come to console me. And seeing that I scratch my wounds, they cut my nails so the wound may heal.
But the problem is, won’t my nails grow once again? And that too before the wound can heal? So that I scratch them once again and reopen the wound?
In other words, friends, with all their best intentions, can help only upto a limit. If the wound is self inflicted, only the seit can remedy it. All external help is temporary and futile.
All these who carry out repetitive self injurious behaviour need to change themselves to remedy their state. This the person, and care-givers, must realise as soon as possible.
Unrequited love is only one such wound. So are alcoholism, substance abuse, accident-pronomess, personality disorders etc.
It’s only when the person trims her/his own ‘nails’ and stops repetitive self destructive behaviour that the ‘wound’ really starts to heal. Otherwise it’s just temporary ‘trimming’ of nails by well-wishers and care givers.
The essential point is how to lead such a self injurious person to such a realisation. And help heal the ‘wound’ as she/he masters coping mechanisms to stop self-hurt.